There are countless ways to allow someone to fall in love with you… to do justice to this subject would take a lot more than a blog post, really – it would take even more than a book! But today, I’d like to write about one particular way to allow someone to fall in love with you. Each of us is our own little universe – our own little world full of our own beliefs and thoughts, emotions, desires, values, experiences, goals and intents. How alone we often feel, even in a world full of others. Looking for love is part of our very nature. And once in a while, our little universe collides with another. Sparks fly, and BAM! Lightning strikes the heart, and we find ourselves spinning, palms sweating, heart racing, body responding, and we begin to feel that sensation – falling, falling, falling in love, hoping, praying, willing that our intense emotions are reciprocated by the object of our amorous intent. So often it ends in bitter disappointment. Why? Because we don’t know how to allow that beautiful person to fall in love with us.
“It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside.” ~Unknown
Listen
When you look at that beautiful man or woman, what do you see? Are you so absorbed in your own little universe that you idealize and romanticize the person of your dreams without stopping to listen to the dreams of his or her heart? Are you so busy trying to mold that person into what fits into your own perfect little world, that you don’t hear what the object of your love has to say? Do you even stop to listen and take a genuine interest in what he or she has to share? Can you stop seeing him or her as a prize or a trophy, as an object, and understand that this is also a human being with his or her own beliefs, thoughts, emotions, desires, values, experiences, dreams, goals, and intents too?
Love is about sharing. For love to work in your life, you have to understand that it is about giving and receiving. Perhaps the person you want to love really wants to love you back, but can’t see how to reciprocate because you won’t simply shut up and listen to him or her. Do you listen? Do you stop to consider what he or she is telling you? Or are you so busy invalidating everything he or she tries to share with you because you’re too self-absorbed in your own little world and the darkness of your own troubles to understand that each person is your mirror? Are you so busy seeking your own validation and recognition that you can’t give even an ounce of it to the person you supposedly love?
“We are all worthy of respect. We are all worthy of validation – of being seen, of being heard, and of knowing that we matter. We are all worthy of Love.” ~ Prasanna Ranganathan
Love Your Self
Take a moment and ask yourself what is your real motivation behind what you want. You want to be loved. Why? You want to be recognized, appreciated, valued. Why? Why do you feel that you have to get that from another ego? Who did not give you the love and value and appreciation you so needed when you were a tiny baby, which caused you to believe that you had to go looking for it from other egos? What experience did you have in your early life that caused you to believe that you could only feel loved if you bragged about all your talents and accomplishments in order to receive praise? Why do you continue to project that pain of rejection, abandonment and abuse onto everyone else? Would you take a moment please and just stop? Go into your Heart and listen. The love and appreciation and recognition and validation that you seek ultimately comes from your own Heart. Not from other egos. Learn to love Your Self. Learn to listen to your own Heart.
Now open your eyes and take a real look at that person you love. Really see him or her. See what he or she has to offer, and appreciate the lessons and wisdom that he or she has to share with you, without blindly invalidating the challenges and dreams of the other. Allow him or her to share with you the thoughts and emotions and dreams that he or she also has. Develop a genuine interest in what he or she has to share. Ask him or her questions – engage in real conversation – and listen. Allow this beautiful soul to reciprocate. Listen to him or her with your Heart. You’re not the only person who wants to feel appreciated, loved, recognized and valued. When two universes collide, you are not the only person in your own little world anymore. Make your world one that another would enjoy staying in and visiting for a while – a safe place that is hospitable and welcome – a place where dreams can be shared.
